Elmlund City Councilbeing Nurdy Nadir (pictured at right) will introduce a ground-breaking resolution to the full council any day now calling upon greater Elmlund to become the first American city to send a short woman of color to the moon by 2020. After this initial success, it is then envisioned that a steady stream of Elmlund citizens will follow her ascent through the chemtrails upward towards a new colony on the moon, and with proper focus almost all of the city's poor can be funnelled out of Elmlund and onto the moon by 2025.

This is expected to open up several run down neighborhoods in Elmlund for real estate development.

"After being usurped by the rest of the Trans Francrisco Bog Area during the dot orgy boom, Elmlund is poised today to be at the forefront of new technologies that will pave the way into space!" exclaimed Nadir to a cheering throng of faithful who had gathered last Thursday, all of whom were all adorned in B.A.D. specially designed blue shirts, the color of the cheese that covers the moon's surface.

The resolution will create a task force to craft and propose programs that can be used to transition the city into a major outer spaced center over the coming decade and a half. Using business initiative to produce a combination of local giant rocket cannon, tesla-inspired anti-gravity devices (including no-skate skateboards), and fusion reactors, there will be no lack of synergy to accomplish these lofty goals. "In many ways, the moon is a nascent concept," said Nadir, while sipping on a double latté provided by the environmentally friendly company, Starbucks, which announced it has plans to open seventeen coffee shops on the lunar surface after the first 300 Elmlund residents have established a permanent colony there.

Last Thursday at high noon there was a press conference organized by the Elmlund Zeus and Moonshine Society as well as other groups, including B.A.D. At that event, Nurdy Nadir gave his vision for a ramped up spacey future for Elmlund, and the executive leader of the Helen Fryer Deep Fat Center, Clew Lessley, stated that the planned colonization of the moon was perfectly aligned with the planets and all the right groups to provide airtight new job opportunities in outer space for particularly disadvantaged inner city youth who could manage to survive without expensive space suits once they reached their new homes on the earth's only natural satellite.

Clew encouraged all residents who would like to begin a new life to sign up now to shoot for the moon. Interest is expected to be heavy and waiting lists could be long. "Actualize your dreams into reality!" Lessley said.

"The moon is our best visionary bet to our declining, Post Carbs Earth," said councilbeing Nadir, "If we can imagine it, there's no reason why it can't happen!"

"That's how things work in the East Bog," added Clew Lessley. "Lots of funnelled and far out imagination."

More information on thermal depolymerization:

What is Thermal Depolymerization?

Depolymerization, in contrast to polymerization, is the rendering of carbon stored in useless corpse material into its inherent natural fuel components. Here at Post Carbs, we think of it as cremation with a purpose. Almost everyone has heard about composting organic material for farming. A way we encourage our clients to think about their own thermal depolymerization is to view it as the composting of one's own body in order to feed a garden of cars! Returning your body energy into the ecosphere from which you stole it while you were alive is essentially the most globally patriotic thing a person can do with him or herself once that person has reached that inevitable twist in the path of life that known as death. And even with today's trendier and more lithe bodies we're seeing, the sheer volume of corpse material available has passed even our wildest dreams and smashed our conservative business models here at the Post Carbs Institute. There are simply too many thousands of clients and advocates for our policy to thank them all individually for our booming business, but if we could we'd group hug all of you if you were still in a huggable viable form!

Yes, the buzz around town today is die off, and while that provides immensely challenging difficulties for our public authorities, here at Post Carbs we've redefined tragedy into a business opportunity, and are ready to help you with your own challenges surrounding these present difficult times. We're poised to turn your useless remains into our own brand of fuel, "Pints of Petrol." Sign up today and you won't be a burden on your hungry relatives once you've passed up, up, and away (and, in this case, we don't mean a personal trip to the moon).