"Wayne Wolcek, minister of the ISU Christian Fellowship, said the pamphlet might not depict homosexuals in a totally accurate context,... ISU DAILY, 1974" |
A little new blindness didn't deter these Sodom guys outside Lot's house at all, which makes me think they must have been on drugs or something in addition to being so gosh darned horny (if you can believe the christians, who worry about things like horny). No, these guys weren't freaked out at all by being blind like most anybody else would have been and I just can't imagine that libido would ever be able to be so strong it clouded your perceptions that bad unless drugs were involved. Anyway, they still wanted those damned out-of-town angels, and that was that.
Their resolution reminds me a lot of Divine and the "cha cha shoes" she wanted for Christmas so badly at the beginning of the John Waters' movie, "Female Troubles." Of course that ended up as a horrible tragedy, too when the christmas tree fell down and killed her parents and she had to go out into the world and fend for herself as nothing more than a common fugitive.
So Lot and the Angels left town pronto, and the whole town caught on fire (probably some blind guy in town still smoking, and then nobody could see to get to the fire trucks), but Lot and his lot were getting out of town so it would seem, from this perspective, to be a story with a happy ending, unless you're one of his daughters and can never trust him again as long as you live.
Hold on though. There was still another twist. Before they left town, god ordered everybody in Lot's entourage never to look back on Sodom because, well, god was probably still in denial about the big mess he'd made of everything, and he just didn't want these shortcomings like the disaster in this town rubbed in his face, but Lot's wife looked back ANYWAY, probably still feeling just a bit sad about having to leave her friends. It's not certain she was as much an eccentric as her husband was, and she may actually have HAD friends in Sodom. God didn't care though and it made him furious because this disrepect was about the worst thing she could do to him after all he'd done for her and her family, including putting them in Sodom where their life was obviously just peachy.
To punish her for this most horrific transgression, god turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. God was really on the rag that week, wasn't he? I bet if Lot had looked back next, he'd have been turned into a pillar of pepper and then they would have made a contrast on a dinner table, though everybody's flesh was dropping off in Sodom from brimstone so there weren't going to be any major dinner parties in this region for awhile.
I'd grade god with, let's see, a B+ in creativity for this pillar of salt thing, but then I'd give him a C- for his objectivity in using those powers so loosely. Maybe god shouldn't even get that high in creativity, considering he knew Lot's wife would look back all along and had eternities to figure out what to do to her. After all he knows the ending to every story and all of this and that and everything else that was going to happen and that had or will happen and the fact you're reading this right now. Yes, indeed, the pillar of salt really wasn't all that creative at all, and I bet back whenever it was that everything wasn't yet, he didn't even think it up all on his own anyway.
I guess it really only functions a good bible lesson/warning for impressionable Sunday school kids to learn. And the moral of the story they are taught from this batch of hogwash is: "disobey god no matter how unreasonable he is and you become a salt lick for the local deer." I think it also could be, "Network better; don't skimp on friends or acquaintances at dinner parties or you run the risk of personal disaster!" That's what I think.
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